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Rejected Blurbs

The Godfather by Mario Puzo (1969)

"You fucking canary! You publish this fucking book

and I fucking guarantee they'll be fishing pieces of your fucking body

out of the Hudson River for the next thirty fucking years!

Are you fucking listening to me?"

                                                                                                                                Carlo Gambino

                                                                                                                               Gambino Health Group, Inc.                 -------------------------------------

Loading the Revolver with Real Bullets by Paul F. Fericano (1977)

"After reviewing Mr. Fericano's request, we believe he would be

a fine recruit for the Bureau's informant program."

                                                                                                                 Clarence M. Kelley

                                                                                                                 Director, Federal Bureau of Investigation

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Stinking & Full of Eels by Gary Ligi (1975)

"This (Ligi) fellow was the best damn turkey hanger we ever hired in
North Carolina. It was a shame we had to press charges." 

                                                                                                                           Marvin Johnson
   
                                                                                                                        CEO, House of Raeford Farms

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O Wheel by Peter Sacks (2000)

"I don't do blurbs. I don't judge contests. But I perform fellatio." 

                                                                                                                   Jorie Graham
   
                                                                                                                Chancellor, Academy of American Poets

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Mitch on Mitch, by Mitch McConnell (1820)

"I read this book. I think I may have read it twice.

Now it’s your turn. And back off—I saw that bear first."

                                                                                                    Daniel Boone (no relation)
                                                                                                    Kentucky Legend and 
Original Louisville Slugger

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Poems 1962–2012, by Louise Glück (2013)

"Her work from the 1970s makes me ashamed to be a man. The work

from the 1980s makes me wish I were a woman. Oh well, you can’t

have everything. They say that into every life a little rain must fall, but this

is a veritable shitstorm of words. What I wouldn’t give to be illiterate."

                                                                                                         Baron Wormser
                                                                                                         Wormser Chair, University of Applied Sciences

                                                                                                         Worms, Germany

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Loading the Revolver with Real Bullets 2
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