
Rejected Blurbs
The Godfather by Mario Puzo (1969)
"You fucking canary! You publish this fucking book
and I fucking guarantee they'll be fishing pieces of your fucking body
out of the Hudson River for the next thirty fucking years!
Are you fucking listening to me?"
Carlo Gambino
Gambino Health Group, Inc. -------------------------------------
Loading the Revolver with Real Bullets by Paul F. Fericano (1977)
"After reviewing Mr. Fericano's request, we believe he would be
a fine recruit for the Bureau's informant program."
Clarence M. Kelley
Director, Federal Bureau of Investigation
-------------------------------------
Stinking & Full of Eels by Gary Ligi (1975)
"This (Ligi) fellow was the best damn turkey hanger we ever hired in
North Carolina. It was a shame we had to press charges."
Marvin Johnson
CEO, House of Raeford Farms
-------------------------------------
O Wheel by Peter Sacks (2000)
"I don't do blurbs. I don't judge contests. But I perform fellatio."
Jorie Graham
Chancellor, Academy of American Poets
-------------------------------------
Mitch on Mitch, by Mitch McConnell (1820)
"I read this book. I think I may have read it twice.
Now it’s your turn. And back off—I saw that bear first."
Daniel Boone (no relation)
Kentucky Legend and Original Louisville Slugger
-------------------------------------
Poems 1962–2012, by Louise Glück (2013)
"Her work from the 1970s makes me ashamed to be a man. The work
from the 1980s makes me wish I were a woman. Oh well, you can’t
have everything. They say that into every life a little rain must fall, but this
is a veritable shitstorm of words. What I wouldn’t give to be illiterate."
Baron Wormser
Wormser Chair, University of Applied Sciences
Worms, Germany
-------------------------------------





