HOW TRANSMISSIONS ARE MONITORED AND RECEIVED 

All transmissions are monitored and received through intercept bureaus in various quadrants situated in outposts mapped in beltways within the Heinz Pagels Intergalactic Cybersphere (HPIC). They are provided as a public service by Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service.  YU News continues to offer the most reliable source of news and information from all regions of outer space as soon as it becomes available.

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 IMPORTANT NOTE: At a rate of twelve million miles a minute, news travels especially fast in outer space but reaches its maximum end point quantified in measured light years. As a result, differences in relative time zones, dark sectors, and interstellar transitions become critical factors in maintaining strict compliance with standard practices and procedures of the Universal Code of Extraction (Chap. 22, Sec. 51). All transmissions are in direct proportion to the relative speed and curvature of sequential space in translation. News from outer space is unrestricted and always declassified.