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OLDER THAN THE UNIVERSE ITSELF
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• YU NEWS DISPATCH CENTRAL •
HOW TRANSMISSIONS ARE MONITORED AND RECEIVED
All transmissions are monitored and received through intercept bureaus in various quadrants situated in outposts mapped in beltways within the Heinz Pagels Intergalactic Cybersphere (HPIC). They are provided as a public service by Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service. YU News continues to offer the most reliable source of news and information from all regions of outer space as soon as it becomes available.
IMPORTANT NOTE: At a rate of twelve million miles a minute, news travels especially fast in outer space but reaches its maximum end point quantified in measured light years. As a result, differences in relative time zones, dark sectors, and interstellar transitions become critical factors in maintaining strict compliance with standard practices and procedures of the Universal Code of Extraction (Chap. 22, Sec. 51). All transmissions are in direct proportion to the relative speed and curvature of sequential space in translation. News from outer space is unrestricted and always declassified.
COMMON CELESTIAL TIME/SPACE LEGEND
• Standard Universal Time Zone (SUT)
• Coord Interstellar Time Zone (ITC)
• Ordinary Planet Time Zone (PTO)
• Vigo Aragorn Time Zone (VAT)
• Shikasta Rohanda Time Zone (SRT)
• Roscoe Karns Time Zone (RKT)
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YU NEWS DISPATCH CENTRAL
RECEIVED: Valgot 17, 3051 [SUT]
Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service
Dispatch 4568223310-11A
MONITORING: Osuth 41, 2775 [VAT]
Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service
Dispatch 8490330319-29C
MONITORING: Tunkfer 3, 5005 [ITC]
Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service
Dispatch 2229984001-40V
MONITORING: Sugnor 11, 2909 [PTO]
Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service
Dispatch 5573026311-88M
MONITORING: Evaner 3, 2551 [RKT]
Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service
Dispatch 8864893510-90F
MONITORING: Canzery 3, 8237 [SUT]
Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service
Dispatch 7763522429-66L
MONITORING: Rarchon 3, 6009 [SRT]
Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service
Dispatch 0056674884-30Y
MONITORING: Lago 3, 4211 [PTO]
Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service
Dispatch 4455337783-47P
MONITORING: Cher 3, 3986 [RKT]
Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service
Dispatch 7070983765-28U
MONITORING: Imela 3, 3001 [VAT]
Yossarian Universal (YU) News Service
Dispatch 1029384756-19A