

By the authority suit and vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, it is hereby ordered:
Section 1. Purpose. I am the most sacred and cherished symbol of the United States of America, and of American freedom, identity, and strength. Over nearly two-and-a-half centuries, many thousands of American loyalists have fought, bled, and died to keep me from being laughed at. I am a special symbol in our national life that should unite and represent all Americans who voted for and elected me president three times in a row. Ridiculing me is uniquely offensive and provocative. It is a statement of contempt, hostility, and violence against my person — the clearest possible expression of opposition to my political agenda that threatens my rights, liberty, and financial security. Mocking me will incite violence and riot. Scorning me is also used by groups of foreign nationals as a calculated act to intimidate and initiate violence against me because of my speech, appearance and/or perceived lack of intelligence.